Kill Me, Deadly

Kill Me, Deadly

Downloadable Video - 2016
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In this 1940s noir throwback, private detective Charlie Nickels finds himself handling the toughest case of his career when his client is murdered and her priceless diamond is stolen. The investigation forces him to do the one thing he vowed to never do again- trust a dame.
Publisher: Made available through hoopla,, 2016.
[United States] :, Indican Pictures :, 2016.
Branch Call Number: eVideo hoopla
Characteristics: 1 online resource (1 video file (circa 100 min.)) :,sound, color.
data file, rda
digital, rda

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j
jimg2000
Jun 09, 2016

Ida the real detective:
Ida: You know me, Charlie I love a good snoop!
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Ida: A new record!
Charlie: How's that?
Ida: One meeting and she winds up dead. Usually your clients don't get killed until you're two weeks into a case.
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Ida: Oh, and while I was there, I tool a look at the tire treads in front of the house -- They were a lateral hash design from Goodyear ... It's a type of tire that required a high-grade rubber and was discontinued in 1942 on account of the war...
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Ida: Charlie Nickels, as I live and breathe. You know you're late. And if you weren't my boss I'd fire you.
Charlie: You're a taskmaster, Ida. Listen, I was hoping to stop by the office ...
Ida: I wouldn't do that if I were you/
Charlie: Why's that?
Ida: 'Cause a couple o' good humor men from Tony's were here this morning to pay you a visit. I told 'em you weren't gonna be in today, but they hung around the office for twenty minutes polishing brass knuckles and playing cat's cradle with piano wire.

j
jimg2000
Jun 09, 2016

Charlie's rant of Monopoly:
Stop it! Stop it right now, you hear me? I don't know what little game you've got cooked up for me, but I ain't playin', get it? I'm never been much for games. Sure I've played my share of Monopoly, but if you take me for a sucker who'll sit by, smiling, while you fiddle with the dice, move the fame pieces around when I'm not looking, and lie about the cost of hotels on Pennsylvania Avenue, then I don't care if you're willing to trade me the B&O, the Reading AND Marvin Gardens for Park Place, you know why? 'Cause dames like you always start the game with Boardwalk. And if you got Boardwalk and Park Place, then it doesn't matter what cards everyone else is holding --- they're all Baltic Avenue to you.

j
jimg2000
Jun 09, 2016

Gardener: But senor, to be dismissed summarily like this and in such a perfunctory manner? And just one week before completing my master thesis?
Lady Clairmont: Jaime, please. I don't speak Mexican and I can't bear to hear you throttle the English language with such vile impunity.
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Yeah, I was in love once. But never again. Love is for suckers.
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Charlie: You know "Rainbow Dream"? (Song request)
Mona: Does Joe Louis beat guys senseless?
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Mona: "Button Man"? What do you mean?
Charlie: I mean it's his job to take dirty laundry to the cleaners.
Mona: I don't understand.
Charlie: He's a hired gun, get it? A tiggerman, a bruno, a dropper, a torpedo, a hatchet man.
Mona: You mean he ... hurts people for money?
Charlie: Clear as crystal, baby. Only I gotta find whoever's paying his rent.

j
jimg2000
Jun 09, 2016

Lady Clairmont: Someone's trying to kill me.
Charlie: How do you know?
LC: :et's call it "mother's intuition." Oh, and this note.
Charlie reads the note: "I'm going to kill you."
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Lady Clairmont had me pegged as a day-player, a patsy, a stooge. An extra waving palm fronds while she
paraded through a courtyard of Ethiopians and lepers.
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A very foggy night. So foggy nothing is visible except the rails of the bridge. Walking out of the fog is Lady
Clairmont.
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-It's the lippizaner I got for Christmas. He gives, but he won't break.
--Maybe you ride him too hard.
-Maybe he's a big boy who needs to learn a lesson.
--Maybe he's smart enough to teach you a thing or two.
-Maybe he's a dumb buck who doesn't know what's good for him
--Maybe he'll get fed up and knock you on your butt.
-Maybe I'll like it.

j
jimg2000
Jun 08, 2016

It started the way most of these thing's start; on a Monday.
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She had a hold on me like a wolverine on a moose.
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Veronica: If I answered one of your questions falsely, could you tell I was lying, or would you believe every little thing I say? Or isn’t that something they teach you in detective school? (Alternate: I'll bet you have an innate sense of when someone is ... "Taking you for a ride." Is that something they teach you in detective school or do you have to be born with it?
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Oh, I’ve heard of Mr. Nickels. His name frequently appears in the scandal sheets. Is it true what they say about the prevalence of marijuana in Hollywood? That it’s no longer the domain of the itinerant jazzman?
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Oh Charles, I'm frightened. It's been like this for days.
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Shh... you just keep tanning, sweetheart. Leave the rest to me

j
jimg2000
Jun 08, 2016

Bugsy: Do you know who I am?
Charlie: Why would I? I don't subscribe to Cheap Thug Weekly.
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Bugsy: 'Cause I got a vision, Nickels. I see things. Great things.
Charlie: I got an eye doctor I can recommend.
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Charlie: Mona Livingston was as tough to figure out as a jigsaw puzzle made of soap.
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Why fall in love with a broad you can trust? That's like reading a book you already know the ending to.
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I was too busy dodging bullets to make out the meat with the gats, so I cheesed it and headed over to Tony's Liquor Lounge on Cahuenga for a heart-to-heart with boy millioniare Clive Clairmont.
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Look here, schoolgirl. Your smart-talking, big-city mol in the body of a lithe and innocent world-class polo-jockey act might work with your debutante friends and high collard snuff-addicts, but if you don't spill it to me straight in the next five minutes, I'll have the LAPD on you faster than a midshipman on a zoot suit.

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t
tj_is_cool
Aug 12, 2016

Don't find it funny.

j
jimg2000
Jun 07, 2016

Non-stop superbly written and hilarious hard-boiled dialogue that brought back the good old film noir spoof of the 1940s. The private detective, the dames, the murders and driest humor all reminded me of Dashiell Hammett's Sam Spade films. Check out Charlie's spiel of "monopoly" in Quotes by Bill Robens, the script writer.

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